amirican yeshivish,
“Of course not. But if someone finds he “can’t” keep Shabbos anymore he is by defenition not frum. But if he “can’t” eat cholov yisroel that is not the case. The same would be about the Yeshiva guy who “can’t” wear a hat and jacket or the Satmar guy who starts eating OU.”
In the majority of circumstances, one who “can’t” wear a hat and jacket anymore is not due to contact rashes, sensory issues, or the like. Because in those cases the guy would speak with his rav and figure out what to do. No, we’re talking about a person who’s likely developed a deep distaste for a certain segment of klal Yisroel, and is rebelling against it or trying to distance himself from it. By chalav stam or hechshers, perhaps there’s financial or dietary issues at play, but again, a connected Jew would speak with his rav, and what we’re talking about here is most likely also a rebellion. The fact that such a person might land in a place that is nominally acceptable by some other segments of frumkeit is fortunate, but the spiritual situation that leads to the change is not much different than the guy who just “can’t” keep Shabbos anymore.
“I was told of someone who was looking desperatly erev Yom Kippur for a chicken for kapporres and wouldn’t hear the tzad to use money, but was saying he doesn’t plan on fasting because “Hashem loves me and for sure doesn’t care if I fast or not””
Whatever.