Reply To: lashon hara how bad is it

a point about shiduchim: no one is perfect and no one should expect someone to be perfect. peopel who think they will mary the perfect girl or boy, will be very angry a month after their wedding. or they will never get married. when i make a shiduch call i want to hear about this person how people look at him in general and also more detailed, but i dont need to hear that once in a while he’s nasty to someone, or wakes up late etc. many older buchurim without structure may not be at their best, when the person called feels it his duty to say all his issues, even serious ones, thats for the boy and girl to discuss after they met. i dont think that is litoeles. also some times this causes the boy or girl to hide more, because of the knowledge that if people know certain things about me, they will turn me down, so he dosent tell anyone, doesn’t get help, dosent tell the girl hes dating. if people mind their own business and stop judging people, he will be ablt to talk about it, not feel isolated, and get the help he needs and live a normal life.