Reply To: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe

Arso,

“ I think the reason is twofold:
1. We can’t be too frum because of the baalei teshuvah,
2. We don’t want to look as extreme as other chassidim.”

This is not true. We start tznius at 3 for example, and a Lubavitcher was trying to shop for her daughter in boro park and was surprised at the lack of selection for her three year old. When she asked the shop lady, she was told, “we’re not lubavitch.” We take pride in upholding the top standards in yiddishkeit and valuing hiddur Mitzvah. But of course, everyone is at their own place in this journey- there are many who are careful and enjoy keeping up as much as they can and know, and others who are holding at a different place, but still cherish the mitzvos / standards they do etc.

We don’t take down our mechitzas at Chabad houses for fear of what the community say, and we don’t lower our personal standards for fear of others.

“ The problem is that there are many fully-fledged Lubavichers, including shluchim and their families, who have downfalls in these areas. I can overlook what the baalei teshuvah do, but not shluchim and their kids, and there are many who have, shall we say, ‘strayed’ in some important areas.

In general, it’s the fully-fledged that I am referring to and disappointed in

I think every community and individual have their areas that can use strengthening, and this is not unique to lubavitch. I have been to both kinds of homes. I haven’t seen bochurim/ girls at the same table, but have seen marriageable age at the same table separated by married couples. Could be these families are operating in guidance I don’t know about. I try to focus on my own decisions:)