Ideally, you would have an orthodox rabbi you’d be comfortable asking this question to, not only because he’d be better able to answer your questions, but also a spoken conversation is more conducive to the back-and-forth questions that can arise in this type of discussion.
I’m not a rabbi (far from it), but I can tell you what I look for when participating in or helping to organize an event where not all attendees reliably keep kosher:
1) Plates, bowls, cups, and cutlery: Disposable items only. Nothing that could have been used previously should be anywhere near the food.
2) Uncut fruits and veggies only. Also, no fruits or veggies that require careful checking for bugs.
3) All prepared foods must be in sealed packages and have a reliable hechsher. You shouldn’t use an unreliable hechsher any more than someone with a deadly allergy should risk an unreliable assurance that the food doesn’t contain an allergen. Don’t worry about having enough of a variety of foods – there’s plenty of bread, chips, dips, cakes, cookies, chocolate, spreads, soft drinks, and loads of other foods with an OU, Kof-K, Star-K and other reliable hashgachos so nobody need go hungry.
4) In the U.S. milk and bottled water are OK without a hechsher. Plain (unflavored) coffee from Dunkin Donuts is kosher. Plain coffee from other establishments without kosher certification may be problematic.
5) If any attendees eat only cholov yisroel dairy products they will be a lot more stringent, for example they won’t eat products from Hershey, Entenmanns, and any other non-CY items. You may want to ensure that there are non-dairy choices for those people (or, better yet, cholov yisroel items, if available).
6) Many orthodox people in New York City will not drink tap water unless it’s been filtered. If you’re serving ice water, lemonade or any other drink that’s made with NYC tap water, you may want to include bottled water as a choice, too.
7) This is not a comprehensive list and (once again) I am not a rabbi, just someone trying to be helpful. Good luck & happy birthday.
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