“Coffee, that’s not because of hispaalus, wonderment and awe – it’s because the sun then is at the same location that it was during maysoh bereshis. It’s to remember brias haolam.“
Aaq,
It wouldn’t matter what the reason is because you said
“my theory is that to make a bracha, there needs to be a חפצא, a tangible, physically reactive phenomenon. The eclipse is merely an alignment; nothing is משתנה in the moon or sun.“