All of the above are excellent responses to your very thoughtful questions.
I learned what I think is a wonderful reason as to why women are exempt from מצוות עשה שהזמן גרמא while men are obligated. It is because we women have our own INTERNAL clock reminding us of the time. Men are lacking an internal clock, so they have to do these EXTERNAL מצוות to remind them.
Women DO have a time of growing and maturing. It is done internally, within ourselves. Men need the external trappings, while women don’t. That is the idea of כל כבודה בת מלך פנימה.
I had the same questions you have when I was growing up, along with many others. It took me years to find answers that satisfied me, and I still have other questions. Just keep asking and searching for your answers and eventually you will find them. And if not, save them. When I was a child, on the advice of my father OB”M, I kept a notebook in which I wrote all my questions so I could ask משיח when he comes.
גמר חתימה טובה!