“tefillin are in halacha, hats are not.”
Mishnah Berurah 91:5. The prevailing culture of frum yidden is still to wear and hat and jacket out of respect. The culture is not defined by goyim who have no moral standards.
“men wrote seforim about what they want women to wear.”
For starters, there probably are some tznius books by women, but who cares if there aren’t? Men are the ones who write halachah sforim.
“I’ll wait for women to write seforim what they want men to wear.”
Where is this made up inyan in dressing the way women want you to? If women like seeing you shirtless, it doesn’t mean you should daven that way.
“For now, I am following Torah shebalpe from my wife and she paskens I should daven without a hat.”
Cute, but obviously not a serious point. You don’t have to listen to your wife when she’s telling you to be less observant, nor she you. If you “paskened” that you’d rather her wear pants and short sleeves, would that make it mutar? I’m not sure I actually want to know your answer…
Square Root: Your post has nothing to do with anything, and even if it did, we don’t pasken directly from the Tanach.