Poshut: I have no issue with the concept of the kallah coming into the men, in the places where that is the accepted minhag and it is done properly (see my earlier post) But I have an issue with your reasoning.
The time of the chassunah (dancing time) is for the chosson to be mesamayach with his male gusts and the kallah to be mesamayach with her female guests. That is how it was done throughout the ages.
Today, with many chassunas being videotaped, the couple can watch it together after and laugh.
I have no experience but it would seem strange to me for a counselor to ask a struggling couple how they felt towards each other during the wedding. During the engagement, i can hear. The wedding is one huge whirlwind of emotions, experience etc. I dont think the chassan is busy thinking about his kallah during the dancing etc, he has a whole roomful of guests he has to focus on. He has hopefully 100 or so years to focus on and build with his kallah. Just my opinion.