Cherrybim, about your Rebbe’s advice to give in to the other side, it is well known that Rav Yaakov Kamenetzki zt”l had this practice. if people asked him whathis minhag was with walking his children down the isle, he always said “my minhag is whatever the mechutanim do”. i heard this directly from my friend who is an einikle of R’ Yaakov, but it is well known.
Joseph: The truth is, i dont really know the origins of the mitzva tanz. i was just speculating, because the way we do things in general has changed over the years. Our chasunas are nothing like what they used to be like in the olden days, which always took place on erev shabbos, for example. About the chassidish havara, its simpe. the havara has to do with what town/country you came from. The “chassidish” havara was the havara of the Hungarian and Polish Jews, which eventually became the hotbed of Chassidus. So now its known as the chassidish havara. The russians and lithuanians spoke differently, and the chassidim didnt really spread so much over there. Do I make sense?