Re semtatty: I would hope my kids would maintain a kesher to mechanchim/mechanchos in American sems too. I was just saying that to illustrate that not all is hopeless.
And as far as feeling bad about our kids not being able to engage in all the activities their friends do: I felt bad when my daughter told me about things she missed out on because she was budgeting, but then I realized how displaced these feelings were. It was a good experience for her and frankly my kids know how much goes into this year and are grateful to be there. They have a much better perspective than other kids. And that’s it as far as our financing their education – they take out student loans. It’ll be interesting when we get to our boys, whose education will be our responsibility for quite a few years longer. Hashem yaazor, iy”H.