ModernLakewoodGuy – I just want you to know that you, and your wife are not alone when it comes to dealing with this kind of disrespect, and insult. The next time this happens she can say, “excuse me, but I do not believe you are my Rav, and therefore I do not owe you an explanation of any kind.” or say, Ma’am, that was very insulting of you to say, you have just embarrassed me in public.” or say nothing at all. These are just a couple of examples you can use the next time this happens.
I for one think that tichels are very beautiful, and modest (& a whole lot cheaper as well). Be true to who you are, and don’t worry about what other people think of you, or say to you (easier said than done). You can also talk to your Rav and see what he thinks of this, because if he says it is perfectly permissible to wear a tichel at weddings or to shul then you’ve got your official answer, and your wife can tell these ladies that her Rav says it’s kosher, and she answers to him, not some random woman.
Hope this helped, and have a Great SHABBOS!