I think what you are describing is a husband with his priorities mixed up. His first priority is to his wife and family, and to those who are apposed to this, let me clue you in to a few facts. If a postpartum woman doesn’t get the help and stability from her husband she needs, she may become depressed after feeling too overwhelmed with all her new responsibilities. If a woman is depressed, she will not be able to handle the tasks of being a wife and mother. This in turn can make the marriage suffer. The mother (& God) are not the only ones responsible for creating this child. So why are there new mothers out there getting no help from their husbands? Also, a woman who has just given birth is vulnerable to becoming depressed do to the decrease of the high amount of hormones in her body from being pregnant. So if her husband doesn’t provide any assistance, he is only increasing her chances of developing depression. Having a child is the mitzvah of the husband. Your wife helped give you this mitzvah with; many months of pregnancy, the extreme pain of labor and delivery, hormones imbalanced, losing her “figure” for a while, recovering from all of this. This is the most selfless act a wife can do for her husband. The LEAST you can do is help her out. Give her emotional support, Ask her, how you can make things easier on her. ASK. some new mother’s are afraid to ask for help. If there are any women out there that are not getting the help they need from their husbands, they should speak to their Rabbi. Also, maybe some communities should offer programs for new moms, for instance having a get together with other postpartum women, where they can share their feelings, and help each other out.
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