BS”D
Yeshivas HaShalsheles is a new remedial yeshiva for incorrigible offenders. A project of Ku Klux Karta International, its goal is to reconcile the holy law of sharia with Judaism.
As its name implies, the chain saw is not spared when sharia punishments are carried out for offenses such as petty theft. Our talmidim are guaranteed never to offend again after they are put through our rigorous system of character building at our new campus in Tranquility Bay, Jamaica.
Yeshivas Shalsheles NewsFlash: We recently had the pleasure of welcoming the great Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to our advanced shiur, where he spoke about how the same chain saw that is used for sharia amputations can be used to literally remove the Zionist entity from the map. When he demonstrated just how it could be done, not realizing that our wall maps are sanitized to not show any countries that are not within dar ul-Islam, he inadvertently removed three fingers from his own left hand and mangled two of our hyliger Rosh Yeshiva’s toes when he dropped the saw…..
(Needless to say, physical discipline has no place in any yeshiva as it is about as legal and productive as sharia. Physical discipline within reason is the province of parents, and in fact rebbeim should be careful what they tell parents if they suspect an abusive home where a parent will abuse the child based on a discipline problem in school, or if the child is acting up in school because he has no breathing room at home.)