muchcommonsense: your second post is alot more sensible. off the derech in certain communities means very different things. in heavily chareidi circles, becoming modern os off the derech. remember, it is not the girl who said she went off the derech, but the parent. a satmar mother may consider her daughter who has become extremely modern to be off the derech, yet technically if she keeps shabbos and kosher, and is a maimon, she is still ok. not the best, but ok. teenagers nowadays have it tough. go easy on them. no jewish generation since the teivoh for avoda zorah was taken away has had this much enticement from the yetzer hora thrown at them.
joseph, yes, muchcommonsense’s original post may be understood by the wise, but not by the teenager it was aimed at, so he should not have shared them here.