I’m really glad that this topic generated so much discussion. Whoever said that I must still be somewhat involved if I’m posting here. Well kind of. I joined this site specifically because one of my friends tipped me off that someone who sounded like my mother posted here.
It sounds like many of you are thoughtful, wonderful people. I hope that you will keep some of things I said in mind then next time you deal with or give advice about a teen who seems to be “going off the derech”. I am very lucky that I got on a track that is productive and good. Many of my former peers were not as lucky – largely because of the reactions of their parents and rabbis.
About the yeshivish world itself, my main gripes are with the schools. However I find the society itself to be even more superficial than the secular world. A secular person who has a large, state of the art kitchen can’t cloak their actions in piety. A frum person can brag about their seperate sinks and dishwashers – oh and don’t forget the pesach kitchen. This extends from custom wigs to shul donations.
In the secular world, things other than yichus and money are recognized and appreciated. Art, music, literature – or just being articulate. I was told to be quiet and obey at school until I went to college. College was astounding in that respect. Suddenly I was being ENCOURAGED to express my opinion. It was very welcome.
I find the secular world to be a much more satisfying place to live my life. And not just on superficial levels – on all the deeper levels too.