I’ve been enjoying this conversation and have been somewhat surprised to see the number of thoughtful responses.
Yes, it is true that many secular people have happy, fulfilling lives. It is a complete misconception that unless you believe in Judaism your life will be filled with empty materialism. In fact, I tend to see the exact opposite in my life. Far too many frum people are obsessed with the newest custom wig or making sure their kid rides around in the most upsale European strollers. Don’t you see how Bais Yaakov girls are so focused on having the “in” brand name purse or shoes?
Re: Television. One thing that turned me off religion was the false piety I witnessed on an almost daily basis. Not having a television is something done as a status symbol, not a way to boost family interaction and intelligence by encouraging conversation and reading over mindless screen watching. I do not have a television, and I don’t ever plan to. I will watch what I want to online. But the fakery and window dressing that goes on is insane.
Re: Shabbos. Let’s make one thing clear. I have issues with authority. I don’t like rules – the fewer the better. In many ways, I was not exactly predisposed towards liking religion – probably from birth. Some people have personalities that favor structure. I prefer to make my own structure. Being told what wear, when/what to eat, when I can use electricity etc – it’s just not my cup of tea. Some people find comfort and stability in being told what to do. I don’t. I’ll put up with it from my boss because he pays me, the police because I literally don’t have a choice and from my professors because they control my grades. But that’s where it ends.
Another turn off has been the animosity between different groups of religious Jews. I just had enough of it after a while. Does it really matter what kind of kippah you wear or whether a woman wears sandals without socks? Are these things really crucial? One thing I have always despised about the way religious Judaism is practiced is the emphasis on superficial signs of observance. The pettiness just became too much after a while. Living in a more inclusive world is like breathing fresh air for the first time.