Gitty, I have a feeling you have never met or spoke to Rabbi Daniel Mechnic, for if you would have I don’t know if you would think as you do. But the truth is, it is your choice and only your choice to think as you do. Hashem created us with Bechira… we all have our share. And only you can chose how you see the world. And NOBODY can decide for you how you percieve things because that is the beauty of Hashem’s creation of the individual. We know we have a Torah. You know we have a Torah. You know what the Torah says. You may not have been given the greatest feeling and connection to it and being that you seem to be a very intellectual individual you have chosen to use your intellect and feeling according to your desires. You may very well be happy with your choice and nothing any of us yell at you will change that.
We belive that there is Schar and Onesh we believe in Olam Habah and Olam Hazeh. We believe in Gan Eden/Olam Haemes and Gehennom…or Heaven and Hell as you would say. You don’t. That is fine, don’t belive. But let me ask you a question. When Mashiach comes (Which you probably dont believe he exists or will come) So lets say he is real and does come. Then where will you stand? Will you decide then to believe? Will you then want to be part of the Am Hakadosh? Will you then feel a connection to the holy roots you come from? Or will you continue to chose your path among the non believers and be left behind from all the people who will be rewarded.
Gitty, please realize that I am not snubbing you. i have no interest in that. I just wonder if you allow your intellect to work like this. To say you dont believe in reward and punishment, even the atheist scientists have proven that we respond to reward and punishment. That is how we were created (Unless you also belive that we weren’t created. That again is your perogative… choose as you please.) You know, many people have questions of how do I know Yiddeshkeit and Hashem and Torah is the truth. THERE IS NOTHING wrong with a person who has questions!!! NOTHING!!! ANd that is for everybody to know! There is something wrong with a person who refuses to find answers for those with questions. And there is something wrong with someone who asks, and when proven refuses to believe.
But Gitty, again, YOU are allowed to choose what you want in life if that is what you feel is right. I hope you are happy. I hope you keep a good connection with your parents and realize how much they love you even tho it may be hard for them to accept your differences from them when they brought you into this world and cared for you and raised you to be a product of them. But if you ever do decide to belive in Hashem and His ways, please make it your buisness to share your wisdom with the world because you will be able help a lot of struggling people because you are smart and thinking anf thats what they need. Good luck in life Gitty… remember always to think before you choose and think well.