Gitty I just want to add that I understand where you are coming from. I understand why you came to your conclusion.
Lakewoodbubby – I think there is a very serious problem is the Jewish community today. The communities preach so much about being perfect on the outside – Whats not nice we dont show! And then many Jews cheat on their taxes or do cash busineses…the Jewish people are not living as Jews. Many people are living as hypocrites as their children see this. Being a talmid chacham is only great if you PRACTICE what you are learning. You could know shas by heart and know NOTHING.
Also, we are raising a generation where everything is more forbidden then ever before. Kids are not allowed TVs, computers, time to run outside and be kids! Everything is NO. Instead of showing them that there are more and less stringent opinions, they go with the “everything to the left is NO” philosophy. Sometimes kids do better with options – Judaism rarely is unified on psak halacha. It doesnt mean someone is a bad person for following a less stringent psak more than someone following a more stringent psak is a better person. Kids need to understand that Judaism is about choice and freedom, within limits.
I understand where Gitty and all the others who are off the derech are coming from. Although I never considered leaving Judaism, there are many aspects that just dont feel comfortable to me and keep me disconnected. Organized prayer for one – saying the words written by others does not make me feel connected to Hashem. Praying in my OWN words really does. I’m thankful I am not a man and obligated to daven 3 times a day with a minyan because I wouldnt gain anything from that and just resent it. Shabbos is particularly restrictive when you want to do other things. Its taken me to working a full time job that would require weekend work (that I luckily get out of saturday duty) to really appreciate the break in reality so to speak.
This is somewhat of a ramble…I hope I am being clear.