Gitty, I think what you like is independence and doing something you feel good about and that’s why you feel happy. But is life about independence or were we created for another purpose?
I like the moshul about the person going down a hill and he saw someone carrying a heavy item up the hill, panting and near tears. Then, he saw another person coming up the hill with an item of equal weight but the person was smiling. When asked why the person was smiling, the person responded that the item being carried was diamonds that the person had gotten.View the Torah as a burden and it will feel like a burden; view it as a treasure, it will (eventually) feel like it. It’s all in how you view things and in your attitude.