Yashrus20, I really don’t appreciate being called a pig (and that’s quite an understatement. I hold back from using stronger language to express my hurt and disappointment because I for one don’t wish to offend anyone.)
Nobody is advocating marrying a girl just because one feels sorry for her. It doesn’t do anyone any favors to build a marriage based on pity when there is no attraction or love. (Yes, both need to be present in order for a marriage to work.)
I am no authority on the shidduch scene and cannot say with any level of credibility what is causing the “crisis”. (Neither can anyone else on this forum; I would wager that no one here is a shadchan or they would have spoken up by now.) Nevertheless, I do see a lot of shallowness in what many, though certainly not all, bochurim are looking for, and as has been said before, the girls have a similar issue. It bears repeating that many of the girls who are rejected out of hand because of their weight are not in fact obese or unhealthy, but simply do not match up to whatever unrealistic standard the boys want, be it size two or four or whatever the case is.
Girls who are at healthy weights for their body type (everyone is different, so it’s impossible to impose a uniform standard) should not be expected to lose weight in order to get a shidduch. I say this not out of spite, but out of concern for the girls’ well-being, not to mention self-esteem. A girl who tries to completely change herself around to please a mate (this can apply to weight as well as personality, habits, likes and dislikes) will find herself in a failed marriage. She will be unhappy because she is forcing herself to go against her nature, and he will be unhappy because he will eventually discover that his marriage is based on a lie and that his wife is not the person he thought she was. This, of course, is an extreme example, but it does happen.
I don’t know where you get this idea that Bais Yaakov girls are better looking that modern girls. I have heard many people say the opposite, but having been exposed to both groups, I don’t think there is a general difference. Each girl is an individual and so should be looked at subjectively. There are attractive Bais Yaakov girls and unattractive Bais Yaakov girls, just as there are attractive modern girls and unattractive modern girls. Mind you, attractiveness itself is subjective, so a girl might be attractive to one bochur and not to another. I overheard a conversation just this morning between two men on a bus discussing the attractiveness of Israeli girls as opposed to American girls. They each had completely opposite viewpoints.