I was fifteen when my father died and seventeen when my mother remarried. At this point I’ve had a step-father for longer than I had a father. My views on this subject are compltely framed in the context of his presence in my life. I cannot think of a single bad thing the man has ever done to me. He takes amazing care of my mother, and she of him. He has been a friend and advisor to me over the years and is a wonderful grandfather to my kids. His generosity knows no bounds. The gifst he buys my children are as nice and significant as those he buys his biological grandchildren. Life without him would have been very different; in a very bad way I think. conversly my best friend has a step-mother; a woman who was totally ill equipped to deal with the six year old orphan of a step son she acquired. They never had a good relationship and his father was of no help in the situation. She demanded complete obediance from him, withheld afection from the poor kid and even beat him for his infractions. All the while this pathetic child thought it was G-d punishing him for killing his mother (his mother once jokingly said to him “A– you’ll be the death of me.” She soon got sick and died). This lady was the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time. He has a very different POV on this issue than do I. It’s not simply about does one have to respect a step parent. There is a flip side to it; does a step-parent have to respect a step-child and thereby earn respect? Remember it is the step-parent who is the tzi gekimminer” and not the other way around.
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