oomis1105: i am very happy YOU believe that children should respect their step parents, but you honestly have no clue about which you talk!
not all step parents are there due to a divorce. some are there due to a death of a parent, which i think is worse, as their is no true love being felt by 2 biological parents, and even the thought of it being possible at a later time, as in the case of a divorce where one parent may not be involved at that time, destroys a child. for a child to not want to respect a step parent is into cut and dry. remember the respect being questioned about is not typical respect. its parental respect, very very different. i am very happy your dear daughter in law had a close relationship with her stepdad, but as i said before, a stepdad and a stepmom are very different creatures. what a child needs from their mom and dad are very different. i love my stepmom, but there are times i cannot stand her, and for extremely valid reasons! there are times i had asked shailos, and was told under no circumstances was i to acquiesce to her wishes, as they were counter to mine. if she was a real parent, i would have had to! even though my father wanted me to listen to her, as it was not his wish per se, i did not have to listen. these are shailos that only a stepchild can understand, and noone else may question them. realize, you may be giving bad tochacha to a yosom, and bothering a yosom for any reason is a huge no-no! be very careful where you tread, for it is something you know nothing about!