Some of the posts are asking-Why only boys, and not the girls?
The answer is, that the wedding is usually in the city where the girl lives, and therefore most of her friends only have to drive across town. However the boys, most of whom are in Lakewood, must travel all over to the various cities where their friends wife lives. That means that a Bochur may have to go twice a week to Brooklyn, and then once every month or so to Cleveland, Detroit, LA, Toronto, etc. Also, most girls live at home, and have easy access to a car. The Bocherim however are away from home (in Yeshiva) and have no means of transportation.
Others are saying- ‘So just don’t go!’
This is usually a gesture from the Chosson, who isn’t too thrilled that some may ‘not go’, because HE WANTS THEM to come. Knowing that the expenses can add up with so many of their age group getting married around the same time, he offers to pay, so that he can enjoy dancing with his friends at his wedding. Keep in mind what sammyjoe said, that eventually those who received $, end up paying it back at their own wedding!
So should the Chosson’s friends ‘just not go’? It is hard to attend so many weddings, and come back late at night exhausted. And yet for the Chosson it is his special night. So we put on our suits and dancing shoes, and head out to williamsurg, or Monsey, or Baltimore etc. etc…. and thank our friend the chosson for helping us get there!!