i have a brother who went to college and graduate school. he has loans that he needs to pay back so he and his wife both need to work to get by. another brother is in kollel and his wife is home taking care of the kids. how does that work? everyone’s situation is different – kollel doesn’t necessarily mean the wife has to work. and working doesn’t mean the wife is always free to be home for the kids.
and just a side point: many wives whose husbands work are STILL not home for the kids. they spend their lives shopping. so maybe they SHOULD go to work. at least they’d be doing something productive.