Mz. teenager:
Go MO. The Charaidi world is not willing (right or wrong) to allow a possible breach for one even though they will help many. Try NCSY or similar program.
The other idea is to try not to do anything that is irrevocable, and Hashem understands that you are trying to do the right thing. And it is hard, and you get credit for seriously trying. Your test today is very different than most people on the board here, and YOU have to know that you are not asked to pass THEIR tests, only yours. And feel proud when you pass your test.