I believe this is the first time I disagree with squeak. You can never be sensitive enough and you can’t place the responsibility on the other party. There is nothing they can do to control such painful feelings.
I basically agree with ames’ approach.
But, there definitely is such a thing as an ayin harah from such a person. It’s not maliciousness, or at all intentional; just very very difficult to swallow such news. Despite all this, a true friend WILL be happy for you and you should keep her involved- for her sake and for yours- to preserve the relationship.
I think she’ll be grateful in the end.