Joseph,
It should definitely not be on the top of the list. Maybe not on the list at all. In other words, it should not be the first question to jump at about how she looks but once they meet if he notices that he doesn’t like how she looks that is very understandable. Also, once they meet a couple of times maybe he will get used to it and suddenly find her good-looking.
Also, I have a feeling that it is the mother a lot of times who stops a shidduch because of looks while the son would very possibly not be bothered. That is a pity.
bored@work,
when were you there? I don’t really have girls all the time, maybe once or twice and I had about 3 girls all together, but maybe you were one of them! (I doubt it though, I don’t think any of them were from Flatbush!) But you never know, we might have bumped into e/o! 🙂