What I hear is that you believe in something different than your parents. I’m not clear if what you believe in is a different angle to Judaism or if you’re turned off totally.
For your own fulfillment in life, you will want to find some niche in Judaism. If you can find and hold on to that, and live a clean, responsible life (i.e. no drugs, drinks, etc., and getting up on time and showing up wherever you’re supposed to – school, work – and delivering) as a parent, I would be grateful and endorsing. If your parents aren’t you need to get this positive feedback and depending on where you are, there are good people who can help you with this.