teen-no one can make a person believe in anything, or be more religious if they don’t want to. They can plead, and coax, and threaten, and teach and beg etc. but ultimately no one can make you do or believe what you don’t want to.
Parents have a deep desire to see their children succeed, and ultimately go to greater places than they reached. That is the underlying ultimate desire of balanced parenting. Not all parents know how to implement that feeling with their children. Some come across in a way that will push the child away.
I hope you will find someone in your life that will help get you to the places your neshama wants you to go. You just have to want it and it may take a lot of time.