“It’s a frustrating thing that if you tell a shadchan that you want a boy who’s working part time, they’ll think you’re not serious about torah…”
That is not only frustrating, it is very sad. Im ein kemach, ein Torah. Zevulun gets sachar alongside of Yissachar. And it is a man’s obligation is to support his wife and family, not vice versa. If that means working part of the day (even if all he wants to do is learn in kollel all day), then so be it, because Hashem obligates HIM, not her, to support them both. The idea of the Kollel wife is a noble one. It is not always feasible, and many young girls have learned to their dismay that women CANNOT have it all, without something very crucial (the kids, her sanity) falling through the cracks along the way.
I think that some girls who constantly assert they are “so happy” are afraid to admit the truth that it is all too overwhelming for them, especially after they have had their fifth child in four years. It is hard to admit one is burnt out when you feel that you have no right to feel that way. But I have seen three young women get divorced this year, or separated, because the metzius was not what they had fantasized from years of yeshivah conditioning.