Dear Striving,
It’s great to see someone striving to grow and go higher.
I am married for ten years to a learning man and I hope he still learns for many more.(He did start working recently but very part time.) Yes, for the first couple of years we were supported partially but that has stopped a long time ago. Every day I hope and pray that my husband should continue to find the sweetnes in the torah and be able to continue learning. I have so much to say but I won’t bore everyone….
1. None of us should ever feel entitled to support. I was always appreciative for what I received and never took it for granted.
2. You do have to be ready to live according to your means. I often didn’t buy new shoes until my old ones were really worn. Yogurt was a big luxury etc.
3. Try to figure out how much you need to live and how much money you will earn. Obviously you don’t know exactly, but figure out around how much rent etc. will cost….If it matches aproximately then you have your anwer.
4. When someone buys a house they often wonder how they will pay their mortgage. You can make all sorts of calculations how you will have the money etc. Then you buy the house. sometimes unexpected expenses crop up etc. Once you bought the house you will somehow find the money to pay because you are committed. You will use all your resources, get another job, fulfill potential that you didn’t even know existed. It’s the same with a Torah life. If you commit yourself, hashem will help you work harder then you thought you could and give you koach you didn’t know existed.
It’s not easy but the sense of fulfillment is so great. You sound like you can do it!
One more point, maybe be honest with the shadchan and say that you want a ben torah but are open to a part time learner who is a ben torah.
Good Luck!