Raised Eyebrow-read the book Garden of Emunah. I think there is a version written in Ivrit. Rabbi Pliskin has a new book called Taking Action which is about cultivating and developing the attribute of zerisus. Which is self motivated enthusiasm. Hashem will help forgive and will not abandon you. Do as much chesed for others and forgive yourself. In other words stay as busy as possible so you do not have time to dwell about past thoughts, do chesed and Hashem will help. All Hashem asks us to do is to try and he will assist us. If all my advice does not work seek out a Gadol, pray to Hashem that he sends the right one to you.
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