Ames, if you think Kollel people don’t look down on those that work, why would Striving (the nice young woman who is looking for a shidduch) say “It’s a frustrating thing that if you tell a shadchan that you want a boy who’s working part time, they’ll think you’re not serious about torah… “?
Right now, schools are preaching to their students that being in Kollel (or being a Kollel wife) is the ideal way and anything less is only done if you cannot do that. I think you are kidding yourself if you think Kollel society doesnt look down on workers (please note: I am not talking about individuals. I know plenty of individuals in Kollel who do not look down on others. I am talking about the general view).
As for the philosophy of taking services: it happens to be something I am against. Services are supposed to be there if you NEED them, not to put yourself in a situation to need them. I really wish the government would change the provisions, but until then, I am still allowed to be upset with how my money is being spent. And I really wish that people taking services would understand them for what they are – CHARITY from the American people. Getting services is not really a “right” but charity provided by others.
As for the economy – my statement about Hashem handing out money was sort of directed to the story about the Valley of Gold coins. I 100% agree that Hashem controls all money (and everything else).
And most kollel men I know, generally wake up later than working men who learn/daven before work.
Let me explain my philosophy in a different manner, that maybe is easier to understand.
Your husband is working and you have a few kids. You pay all your bills. Your first kid goes to Yeshiva and you pay full tuition. By the time the second kid gets there, you cannot afford to pay full tuition. So, do you apply for a scholarship or do you go get a job? You prefer to be a stay at home mother, but is that fair to the rest of the community that shoulders the added burden? No – you should be responsible and go get a job (assuming of course that you make enough money to cover the cost of daycare and such). Or, you get a scholarship. Now you find you have $500 to “spare” – do you give it to the school to cover costs, or do you buy new clothes for Shabbos? I would give it to the school because I don’t believe in being an unecessary burden on anyone. Are there times that scholarships are necessary? Absolutely, and there is no shame in taking one. But you really should be doing everything in your power to not need one.
They don’t look down on the Zevuluns of the world. The TRUE Zevuluns they look up to! They look down on those failures who spend there waken hours in pursuit of the all-mighty dollar. The ones for whom a car is not a means of transport, but rather a status symbol.
If thats true, does it matter if they are driving a 78 dodge? They shouldnt care. And, one outfit for shabbos should be enough. One pair of shoes should be enough. Most women I know in Kollel have more than that – are they pursuing too much gashmius?
Jaymatt, I know quite a few rich families. Most of them are not striving for gashmius – they have it, and use it, but don’t worry about the status. They might buy a nicer car because it has better pickup and a smoother ride, but the ones I know don’t buy status cars just for status (I mean, how many Porsches do you see, even amongst the rich)?
Do you count supporting your kids as part of the zevulun relationship? Because I do know plenty of parents that support their kids in the way they raised them (if they can).
OK, this is getting really long…yasher koach if you made it to here 🙂