i dunno. or maybe i’ll be honest with you and say i don’t wanna know. it’s just too much and i learned how to shut “my neshama” up a long time ago. maybe i’m being scared but i can’t imagine the bigger picture. changing would mean leaving my friends.
you’re gonna say “why are you thinking in such extremes?” but it’s practically impossible for me to change even the tiniest thing without it having a huge effect on my lifestyle.
and you think you’re pained. that’s another way to look at it.