The opening the door for the girl (specifically) comes straight out of the goyish playbook. It is assur for both Chukas Hagoyim AND tznius. (Tznius is especially an issue by a car.)
JayMatt: Assuming that came from Rav Gifter, what the Rav is stating is to mentchlich, not “chivalrous”. If there is inclimate weather or something, of course one must be mentchlich and help the other person if necessary.
But assuming a normal situation with a healthy individual (not involving one party carrying heavy luggage), there is no more reason for a guy to open a door for a woman, than for a woman to open the door for a guy. In fact now that I am reading the first post with the meforshim it quoted, I believe it is correct al pi din for a woman to open the door for the man to go first.
oomis1105: It is RASHI who stated that it is unbecoming for a husband to walk behind his wife. (Walking behind a woman other than ones wife, is outright assur.) You have no standing to dispute Rashi.
kiruvwife: There is no more reason a bochor on a date should open (or especially close) a car door for the girl, than there is for the girl to do so for the bochor. THIS idea comes straight from the gentiles and has no basis in kedushas yisroel.
cantoresq: I don’t know all the background of the situation you describe, but it is appropriate for a wife to stand up for her husband, rather than vice versa.
So again; the idea of chivalry is “woman first.” This is incorrect from the Torah standpoint. In fact the Torah says men should go first. This fact does not negate the absolute necessity to be mentchlich at ALL times.