R’ Zalman, most girls that dress perfectly tznius have developed a sensitivity, especially if this is the first or second time they are dating, that it would be extremely uncomfortable for the bochur to watch her get in the car.
Most of these girls would not turn down a bochur because he didn’t open the door, they probably would admire his sensitivity to not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. He can still open the door to the hotel lounge behind him as was hashed out in previous posts down to the actual mechanics of it—-I don’t think it is goyish at all for him to do so as they are entering a building with him in front of her. That is taking it way too far.
(I mean if there are those who are maintaining that it is goyish for him to hold the door open as he enters, still continuing in front of her and she then holds the door open as she proceeds inside so he can continue in front of her—then we have real problems. The alternative would be-he enters the building, she stands outside the building until he gets in and the door closes, and then she proceeds to open the door..etc. please please I hope that no one will say even sarcastically or facetiously that this is the way to do it to avoid chukas hagoyim {i know that might have been an invitation for just that but i just needed to write that})
Third, most wives who admire their husbands who are true bnei torah, and mentchen get great pleasure serving their husbands the way the Rambam has spelled out (obviously the way it would play out in our day). It is something taught to them as kallahs (and hopefully witnessed in their own homes) with great understanding and sensitivity, and is something that wives of b’nei Torah take great pride in.
We are the nurturers and builders of klal yisroel and are grateful for that role, no apologetics-just pride.