oomis, What on earth are you saying? Why are you using my post as your soapbox for speaking about special needs people
A) I didn’t and b) What on earth are YOU saying? I was saying (please re-read my post) that in general I don’t think it is very nice to tell someone that they were rejected because the other party thought they were not sufficiently intelligent. AFTER making that point, I ADDED as an aside that the only exception I would think of is when there is a special needs individual who is being redt to others as a NON special needs person. In that case it is fair and necessary to make the shadchan aware that the intelligence issue is a factor. It is not merely that the person is less intelligent, it is that the person is not of NORMAL intelligence. For one who is of normal intelligence but just not a “Rhodes Scholar,” it would be really hurtful and not productive to tell the dumped party that this was the reason given for being dumped.
I have no soapbox, and no agenda on this issue. i feel that people need to be realistic about their children’s strengths or lack thereof, and the shadchan has to be tactfully honest, but not insulting. Period.