Thank you ames for your opinion.
My first priority was to marry someone who I respect for who they are, what they stand for and what example they will be for the next generation. I pursued an advanced degree so that I would be able to support him long term if need be. I am proud that I was able to support him for a few years while he was learning just about full time and finishing off his Ph.D. After seeking advice from his Rosh Hayeshiva and being told that the kids are at the age where they will benefit more from being raised by a mother I left my full time job and he went and got one.
Although it did not come to this, I believe that I was ready to give up a gashmius lifestyle and live a kollel lifestyle for the sake of his learning if he was sincere about it.
But I do agree with you that if someone is not ready to live a genuine kollel lifestyle then they should not attempt to because of love or social pressure.