“Although it did not come to this, I believe that I was ready to give up a gashmius lifestyle and live a kollel lifestyle for the sake of his learning if he was sincere about it”
Many girls think along these lines, only to discover that when push comes to shove and reality sets in, there is a certain amount of gashmius that is necessary in order to live, i.e. food, a roof over your head, clothing, doctor bills, utilities,Yeshivah tuition, and so forth. Many girls believe the same thing you stated because they feel they OUGHT to believe that way, or they are not proper bnos Yisroel. But if certain basic necessities, not luxuries, of life are not affordable, that idealistic thinking flies out the window, often along with Sholom Bayis.