Please don’t all attack me for this, but shouldn’t a bochur speak with a rebbe he is close with (or a competent rov who will give him the time to explain his personal situation) and determine when the correct time to start going out / sitting in will be?
With out getting into too many details, when my husband was around 22.5 he spoke with his rebbe who told him to wait at least another year before starting to date. (one of the reasons was “If you’re learning good now, why jeopardize it by starting the next stage of your life?”) Yeah I had to wait longer for him but it was definitely worth it.
My father told me before I started dating that every person (both male and female) should only take into account what’s best for them and not what others say will solve the crisis.
As far as the comment about revoking the cherem, it won’t only solve the singles crisis, it will also ease the stress on fathers-in-law. LOL