AZ-
I’m sure you’re a nice person but from the way you word some of your posts it seems as if you feel that your opinion is fact and can not be questioned. Before hitting “Send Post” please read over what you wrote keeping in mind that those who read it do not know who you are and will not hear your tone or see your facial expressions.
That being said let me try to explain why I feel that “I think it is much harder for a guy to be a “good guy” than for a girl to be a “good girl”.” is relevant.
This story happened about 7 years ago. A guy asked a shadchan to set him up with a girl from a nice family. The shadchan knew that the girl wouldn’t be interested since he missed shachris with a minyan 3-4 times a year (so he was there only about 99% of the time). The shadchan didn’t want to get on their bad side by mentioning a guy who they felt was “below par” so she asked me to. (I know the family and I’m not a shadchan so I have no reputation to lose.) The girl was running a successful internet business from her parents house and was able to keep her own hours. Normal waking time for her was between 10:00 and 11:00 (she was makpid on the zmanim though).
The mother wouldn’t hear of it. “My sons are at shachris on time every single day and I want the same thing for my daughter”. Oh really? Who are you fooling? Definitely not me. I was in Yeshiva with them at the time and I knew who was at shachris on time and who would do a 10 minute “quickie” right before seder.
While she may be considered a “good girl”, the same schedule for a guy would not be considered a “good guy”.
I don’t know who the guy was or his current marital status but the girl is 28 and single.
So AZ, it’s quite possible that after this didn’t work out he pursued a 19 year old thus creating a “gap”. If you look at the big picture you might find many cases where a girl did not give the guy enough leeway and he pursued someone younger instead.
As far as your question, “WHO are the “not good” guys marrying.”
Maybe they are marrying out of Yeshivish circles and thus reducing the number of eligible single males in Yeshivish circles.