SJSinNYC: Please call SYAS and YU connect who I believe are the two most active shiddcuh organizations catering to the non yeshivish crowd. Please Let us know your findings, (I recommend getting hard numbers from them (like I did) and not just asking one shadchan for their personal observations.
GAW: “you point to the “harder to be a good boy than a good girl” argument, which is logical”
It is wholly irrelavant (and therefore not worth debating whether even true).
WHO DO THE NOT GOOD BOYS MARRY??? They don’t seem to be staying single!
Chaverim: “ignoring all the important questions disputing the age gap farce.”
I’m not quite sure which argumments you feel I’m ignoring. The only one I haven’t responded to (i think) is the fertility and family size issue. I have let that go Simply because I don’t have the shoulders to say that the shidduch crisis warrants having smaller families. However people like Rav Elyashiv and Rav Shteinman do have the shoulders to take the responsibility of encouraging boys to date girls thier own age which inevitable means fewer girls getting married at 19 year old getting married. Incidentally, in all likelihood girls getting married at 21-22 should biterech hateva have plenty of opportunity to have very large families.