Irhakodesh and milchig:
I think you are missing the author’s point a little . He is upset because he feels he was MISLED. Or at least, he expected one thing and he got something completely different. When you take your wife and kids out for a special shabbos, and it turns out to be a ttally different environment than you wanted to expose your kids to, it can be very upsetting. They did do the basic research, but they didn’t know exactly what they were supposed to look out for. This resulted in a very unpleasant shabbos for them, because when you are paying good money and have certain expectations, and they are not met, you feel disapointed. This is reasonable, despsite the fact that they could have made the best of a bad situation (which they probably did). “Tolerance” has no bearing on the discussion here!
In fact I think the tone of the letter was very apropriate, they were not even blaming the organization. The point was just to be modiah the olam to the situation so that others could save themselves the heartache they went thru. Thank you to the letter writers for taking the time to write.