I’ve had 10 years of infertility problem. My first was born after 5 1/2 years of marrige then the problem came back and there was another 5 1/2 years before my second child was born. There was an operation before I concieve either child.
I think it is a personal decision how far a couple should go. As to the Spanish woman, what did she die of? There are no guarrentees (sorry. I can’t spell) in life. I’ve heard more stories than I wish about people who died when their children were little. Assuming that the woman was healthy when she had the children, there was no reason for her not to have them.
Keep strong, Gourmet. I know how hard it is when children don’t come right away. I always daven that everyone who wants children should have. I will keep you in my tefillos. Hashem will send in the right time. It’s just hard for us humans to agree with Him when the right time is. 🙂