>>JayMatt, I completely feel and sympathize with what happened. I just don’t understand how you were not engaged if you had a (small) l’chayim already.<<
I was not keeping a secret from my family. We wanted to give my mom the kavod of meeting her before becoming officially engaged, but also wanted a tiny celebration with my mother-in-law prior to departing to the USA (I was departing a week earlier than my wife). It wasn’t an easy juggle, but we tried. Only to have this random woman call everyone, even a close friend of mine.