shaidel- you are right that people are crazy about what they require in a future spouse. The joke goes that a shadchan asks a guy (can be reversed…just how I was told the joke): “what do you want in a wife?” The boy starts listing: “tall-about 5″4, no bigger than a size 4, from yichus and money but not haughty or self centered about it. Her brothers all went to YESHIVA ABCDE. hmm, I would like her to be from Seminary GHIJK or LMNOP and have been head of chessed in high school. Baalas Middos. Smart girl…..”
Shadchan responds: “What is her name so I can introduce you to her? you seem to have her all picked out”
We are so picky and want them to have no skeletons in the closet, but doesnt everyone have something? We all have A relative that doesnt meet our standards. Unfortunately we all have someone in the family, that had some illness, divorce or some other tzarra…
Just because a family isnt perfect, doesnt mean that you should not go out with them. At least then you know what you are getting into and you know what to research. Other families hide it and then… WHAM! It hits you like a sack of potatoes! ok, a little melodramatic but you get the idea. No idea and it can be the one thing that you wouldnt have agreed to. Anything from genetics to past lives to……Its time we realize that people are human and just like we would want them to ignore or minimize our problems, we should look into the major ones but not weigh heavily non-major issues.