Justme, you make some valid points BUT I think you are missing a big piece of the puzzle.
1) If you are a stay at home parent (even if it makes financial sense to), and you cannot afford tuition, then learn to homeschool. Its a skill that can be learnt. Are you telling me most mother’s are not equipped to teach their 6 year old basic chumash and math? If most people cannot do that, its very sad. Also, older children can help out with the basics as well. Just saying “its not practical” is wrong – people don’t think its practical and therefore won’t implement it.
2) We have all upped our “basic necessities” to include plenty of things that are not necessary. If someone has nice jewelry, shouldn’t they sell it to cover tuition if its really pikuach nefesh? Is owning a gold necklace more important than tuition? True, its hard to sell your possesions…I know it would be hard for me. It doesn’t make it wrong.
3) I never said people don’t want to pay. But if they cannot pay, then they have to figure out alternate plans. A friend of mine works seperate shifts from her husband to make ends meet. Its tough on their marriage and their kids – the parents don’t see each other much. But the extra influx of cash, without having to pay for babysitting costs, really helps them pay their bills.
4) NO TO VACATIONS. I don’t care who you are – if you cannot afford basic tuition, then a vacation, no matter how much you need to recharge your batteries, is a luxury you cannot afford. We need to go back to basics.
5) Are people buying new clothing for yom tov? Probably yes. Is it fair to spend that few hundred dollars for the family (unless the clothing is falling apart)?
6) It seems to me that the issue is lack of donations to BYoBP because of the economy, not so much the parents who have lost jobs. If that is the case, then something needs to be done to figure out why such a high amount of people cannot afford tuition. Is it kollel? Size of the families? I don’t care who you are – if tuition is $4,000/child and you have 10 children, unless you are Nelson Rockefeller, that hurts.
I live in NJ so I am not really out of town, but Brooklyn schools aren’t my local schools.