BS”D
Joseph:
Who is talking about the children? I am discussing the parents. The children are an effect that Halacha is not concerned with.
I bring Halacha, you are still bringing feelings. Next someone (not you) is going to tell me that they FEEL for certain people who practice To’eiva and they should allowed to be like anyone else? Perhaps we shouldn’t EMBARASS them and allow them to marry (an extreme example)?
We have a Torah. The Gemorah, Rambam, Tur & Shulchan Aruch all say to EMBARASS the man who does not take care of his children. The Shulchan Aruch adds that for a rich man, we take from him Ba’al Korcho. (Even Haezer 71). (I apologize if I am once again too harsh)
I am going to add that this is similar to Shaul, when he was unable to go against the people due to his Yiddishe Middos. It is not an easy thing to go against our inner nature, like when we will have to wipe out Amalek and kill even the animals. We will do it, as the Torah says you must. We have the same concept here.
Kapusta: who doesn’t have something? Why is someone not Mechuyav to sell their silver liechter or engagement ring (or at least ask a Rav!) to pay tuition?