mepal – be wary of giving advice that might be a problem of geneivas da’as. I’m not saying that it is, but it sounds like something that could be wrong to do.
Most people don’t realize this, so your boss might also not, but asking for a raise is akin to saying, “I’m worth more than you are paying me. I’m finished working for you at these rates”. You are telling him that if he continues to pay you the same rate for the same work, you are going to leave. You will go work for someone who values your work more appropriately. It is usually expected that a resignation follows if the answer is no. So, my advice is don’t make the move unless you know the answer will be yes, or unless you are prepared to back up your words with action (quitting).
If the boss says no and you go back to your desk, you have made a statement that says “I’m not worth any more than you’re paying me, and I couldn’t get more by leaving, which is why I’m still here”. In that case, would any boss ever give you a raise?
I’m a bit old fashioned, so I expect to get a few jeers. That’s OK. But I will say something else that you can’t argue with.
When you ask for a raise, it should be because you are worth it. Not because you want it. Not because your salary isn’t enough to pay your rent. That is not your boss’ problem. It’s yours for accepting a low paying job. If you want to command a high salary, you have to be in command of precious skills. If you don’t have valuable skills, why are you worth more?
In the old days, we asked for a raise when a new baby was born, and that was considered the norm. It was an exception to the rule, because really the company has no interest in what you do with your salary – they pay you for your work, not your life. However, it was considered a “gift” of sorts and believe me, no one was having babies simply to get the small raise 🙂 This quaint custom is long buried by the wayside. Try this today and you’ll be laughed out of the office. Frum businessmen might feel differently, but not because they have to for any reason. A job is not chessed project and its not tzedaka, though a business owner may make it so if he wishes.
The fact that the business is struggling has nothing to do with the discussion. If you are worth more, explain how retaining you as an employee will help the business recover and survive. The amount of your raise is not going to make or break the business.
And that’s the crux of it. Explain why you deserve a raise, and you should get it. Compare your job and salary to the general market (easily available information on the web). This is not effortless, so give yourself time to come up with a “can I have a raise” speech. Don’t ask for a raise based on your household expenses. Good luck.