NY Mom,
In truth I would not be surprised if many women are still rebelling against the “tsnius lady”. That’s the way people are: Most people have trouble getting past things that hurt their pride – and being told “you’re not good enough” is at the top of that list. Even 30 years later they might still be trying to prove (to themselves) that they can decide for themselves what is good enough.
You are absolutely right that everything is between you and Hashem. However, think to yourself (and be honest) about how many of the things you do are things you want to do (right things AND wrong things). Compare that to how many things you do even though you don’t want to but ONLY because Hashem says you must. I think you will agree that wanting to do something is probably the most necessary component to doing. That’s why I suggest that the only way to improve tsnius is to make a culture of women who WANT to be b’tsnius. You can make them want to by admiring their efforts.